Men and women are different, and when some women try to shop for men, they think that all they need is some empathy and a charge card. But before you go out and buy that nice shirt with an alligator logo, or that pair of decorative socks, it might be useful to understand how these differences in how men and women think can impact thier wishlists. Then you may be able to modify how you buy presents for men so your boyfriend, husband, or brother will be grateful rather than politely appreciative of the gift or present.
Buy Him a Gift That He Will Like
When you are buying presents for men and shopping for him for Christmas, his birthday, or valentines day, you need to be aware of the differences between men and women. As Diana Jordan once said, "Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things:
beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.."
The First Rule
The first rule in understanding a man, is to keep it simple. It does not matter whether he has a Ph.D. or flunked out of middle school, most men do not get into the sophisticated or complex. It is not that they do not have the brainpower, it is that men are attuned to comfort and function, and to solving problems. While a woman may be interested in fairness or in interpersonal values, men just want to cut to the chasem and get whatever it is done. A stocking stuffer or small to medium size gift that a man would likely appreciate would be tools or even some WD-40.
The Second Rule
In addition to solving problems, men are very rapped up in their work. This difference is especially true for men who are in their youg adult years. Psychologists who study identity say that men are putting all their idenity struggles into acheivement at that age, while women, even today, still to be more focussed on issues of intimacy. What that means practically is that men will appreciate presents that allow them to advance or do better in thier careers, or in the breadwinner role. Look what he does with the garage to get some ideas as well.
The Third Rule
Men are really just big hairy boys. They enjoy toys and sports like they are still in middle school, well into their 80's. If you ask them what they enjoyed when they were 13, its probably still high on their wishlist. So when shopping for gifts or presents for men, think about things like remote controlled cars and planes, or video games with sports themes. Some of these are suggested in the artice linked above.
Shopping for Presents for Men - A Tip
One interesting way to discern what a man wants, is to pay attention to what he does on his time off, especially on weekends he is not with you. If he goes to the football game, he may appreciate a hat or jacket with the team logo. If he fishes or hunts, then something like a fishfinder may be one of the best presents for men who fish, and for hunters the gift for him may be a spotlight or some gun related gift. Of course the weekend golfer makes it easy, and if you do not put golf balls in his stocking, you are not playing ball!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Diabetic Retinopathy Made Easy
I was looking around the internet the other day, for information on diabetic retinopathy. I have type 2 diabetes and my vision is awfully blurry. I naturally was curious about this rather devastating complication, and I have been reading up on it. A lot of useful information is out there, but quite a bit of it is written from an acadmic bent. While I can follow most of that discussion, I know that a lot of diabetics who will not be able to do so. Some of the same worries that I had, but will be overwhelmed and confused by the charts and big words. Because of that I have wriiten this article with simple language and uncomplicated explanations about Dealing with Diabetic Retinopathy.
What is Diabetic Retinopathy?
The back of your eye is called the retina, and it is fragile. You need it because it is how your brain gets the information that lets you see. Diabetics can damage this part of the eye, especially when their blood sugar levels have been long for several years (like 7-10 years). Diabetic Retinopathy is a term used to describe bunch of different eye problems with big names that impact the retina. What you need to know is that you can break the tiny blood vessels and get blood in your eye, and swelling. Your vision gets real blurry. If the damage goes on long enough, the eye grows some new even more fragile blood vessels, and these can break and make things a whole lot worse.
How Can I Know If I Have Retinopathy?
You can have this retinopathy and not have any symptoms at all. That is one reason you are advised to see an eye doctor once/year if you have diabetes. If you do get symptoms it would be dry and blurry eyes, difficulty seeing fine details of things, and for some people, floaters. Floaters and dark spots can be more or less permanent changes in your vision that are kind of like having something in your eye, only it is always there, and do not get better. You can still see, and get used to it eventually, and it is often caused by blood that has leaked into the eye. Floaters do not necessarily mean you have retinopathy, as you can get them as part of the aging process.
Treatment Options
Many times all that is need is regular check ups with the ophthalmologist. If they are on top of it, you are in their care. They will at the very least insist you get your blood sugar and cholesterol under control, and get some exercise and diet routines. You likely will be put on a statin and other drugs to manage your diabetes. But diabetic retinopathy can cause blindness, and in diabetics is a major cause of loss of eyesight in adults. If your retinopathy has progressed that far, it is possible that you will need surgery, or laser treatment. One newer treatment that has been somewhat successful when lasers are not possible, is freezing the eye to make some needed changes.
Other Eye Problems in Diabetes
Diabetics are more likely to get cataracts, which require surgery to replace the lens with an artificial one. They are also twice as likely to get glaucoma. Macular edema is another problem that may require attention, either as part of diabetic retinopathy, or as a problem outside that diabetic process.
What is Diabetic Retinopathy?
The back of your eye is called the retina, and it is fragile. You need it because it is how your brain gets the information that lets you see. Diabetics can damage this part of the eye, especially when their blood sugar levels have been long for several years (like 7-10 years). Diabetic Retinopathy is a term used to describe bunch of different eye problems with big names that impact the retina. What you need to know is that you can break the tiny blood vessels and get blood in your eye, and swelling. Your vision gets real blurry. If the damage goes on long enough, the eye grows some new even more fragile blood vessels, and these can break and make things a whole lot worse.
How Can I Know If I Have Retinopathy?
You can have this retinopathy and not have any symptoms at all. That is one reason you are advised to see an eye doctor once/year if you have diabetes. If you do get symptoms it would be dry and blurry eyes, difficulty seeing fine details of things, and for some people, floaters. Floaters and dark spots can be more or less permanent changes in your vision that are kind of like having something in your eye, only it is always there, and do not get better. You can still see, and get used to it eventually, and it is often caused by blood that has leaked into the eye. Floaters do not necessarily mean you have retinopathy, as you can get them as part of the aging process.
Treatment Options
Many times all that is need is regular check ups with the ophthalmologist. If they are on top of it, you are in their care. They will at the very least insist you get your blood sugar and cholesterol under control, and get some exercise and diet routines. You likely will be put on a statin and other drugs to manage your diabetes. But diabetic retinopathy can cause blindness, and in diabetics is a major cause of loss of eyesight in adults. If your retinopathy has progressed that far, it is possible that you will need surgery, or laser treatment. One newer treatment that has been somewhat successful when lasers are not possible, is freezing the eye to make some needed changes.
Other Eye Problems in Diabetes
Diabetics are more likely to get cataracts, which require surgery to replace the lens with an artificial one. They are also twice as likely to get glaucoma. Macular edema is another problem that may require attention, either as part of diabetic retinopathy, or as a problem outside that diabetic process.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
China and 21st Century Economic Domination.
As Steven Mosher points out in his book Hegemon: China's Plan to Dominate Asia and theWorld, China has been the dominant population and world economic power for 48 of the last 50 centuries. The American economic empire has not yet collapsed, but already China owns too many of our bonds, and the more debt we have the more they emerge as a country who could knock the USA off its economic high horse.
There are still some assets in America's corner. The USA dominates the world culture, and as such consumption of goods in other countries follows our leadership. If we like jeans, then jeans will sell in most countries of the world, and with the possible exception of Bollywood, there are no film capitals that rival Hollywood.
That being said, it strikes me that the divided government the USA now has, with its likely focus politics over the greater good, means that we wont be able to either stimulate the economy or clear up our debt. I hope I am wrong, but at this point we seem to be adrift, and no significant change in either direction is pending. So unless we are fortunate to have some good luck, other countries will find their way out of the great Recession faster than we will.
There are still some assets in America's corner. The USA dominates the world culture, and as such consumption of goods in other countries follows our leadership. If we like jeans, then jeans will sell in most countries of the world, and with the possible exception of Bollywood, there are no film capitals that rival Hollywood.
That being said, it strikes me that the divided government the USA now has, with its likely focus politics over the greater good, means that we wont be able to either stimulate the economy or clear up our debt. I hope I am wrong, but at this point we seem to be adrift, and no significant change in either direction is pending. So unless we are fortunate to have some good luck, other countries will find their way out of the great Recession faster than we will.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Kieth Oberman, the Worst Person?
I do not get why Keith Olbermann was suspended without pay, according to the NY Times for having contributed money to a couple of democrats. I know it was against their policy, yada yada yada. But Fox News owner Rupert Murdoch donated over a million dollars from the company that owns Fox to the Republicans, and all their reporters are free to donate (and generally do) to Republicans. While you might find some people who watch Fox, who do not recognize that the station is a champion of the Republican party, you would be hard pressed to find anyone who did not think Keith supported the Democrats.
I am tired of the mainstream news bending over backwards to pretend that it is not biased. While their heart may be more with the left than the right, the news they report is replete with the Republican talking points, and they repeat them like pablum, in their earnest effort to pretend to not be biased. Olbermann was one of the few news and opinion people outside of Fox, where you could get a viewpoint that was not totally muzzled. If all the right wing media get unfettered freedom to advocate for Republicans, when are we going to have to let guys like Olbermann, who has good ratings, say what he likes, and yes, support whomever he would like with campaign contributions.
As the times article pointed out, many contend that these policies enforced with little tact by MSNBC, are outmoded and reflect an era in TV when there was actually a news ethic. If MSNBC had one, they would not have had Olbermann on every night, nor would they uncritically parrot the Republican talking points on most other time slots.
I am tired of the mainstream news bending over backwards to pretend that it is not biased. While their heart may be more with the left than the right, the news they report is replete with the Republican talking points, and they repeat them like pablum, in their earnest effort to pretend to not be biased. Olbermann was one of the few news and opinion people outside of Fox, where you could get a viewpoint that was not totally muzzled. If all the right wing media get unfettered freedom to advocate for Republicans, when are we going to have to let guys like Olbermann, who has good ratings, say what he likes, and yes, support whomever he would like with campaign contributions.
As the times article pointed out, many contend that these policies enforced with little tact by MSNBC, are outmoded and reflect an era in TV when there was actually a news ethic. If MSNBC had one, they would not have had Olbermann on every night, nor would they uncritically parrot the Republican talking points on most other time slots.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Chapter 7 Bankruptcy Explained
If you have a lot more debt than you can handle, then you may decide that Bankruptcy can make sense for you. When your debt gets out of hand -- usually from factors beyond your control like illness or unemployment -- bankruptcy is a strategy you may need to consider, to eliminate most or all of your debt. Of course deciding if and when you need to file for bankruptcy is only half the battte. While there are some alternative ways to handle your debt, this last resort method, while damaging your credit rating, can clear the shelves and give you a new start on managing your budget and finances.
Chapter 7 Versus Chapter 13 Bankruptcy
The two main types of bankruptcies used by individuals or families are Chapter 7, and Chapter 13; these are named for the place you could find them if you read the most recently passed laws on bankruptcy.
Chapter 7, the most commonly used, is meant to liquidate your assets (while clearing nearly all of your debts) so you can get a fresh start. Chapter 13 is designed to reorganize your financial life, giving you, as an individual time to bring yourself and your debts in order, and square things.
Chapter 13 is the best way to use bankruptcy to save your home from foreclosure, but it requires a steady source of income that can handle basic expenses and eventually pay down your debts. If you do not have good reliable future prospects, you probably will need to use Chapter 7. In Chapter 7 you will not have much luck in stopping a foreclosure, but you will be able to put it off for several months.
Other forms of Bankruptcy include chapter 11 for Businesses and humongous debts, and Chapter 12, for individuals whose problems stem from the family farm's business.
Information on the Chapter 7 Process
Chapter 7 takes at least 3 months, but typically lasts longer than that, and when it is done most of your creditors are out of luck, and you no longer have to pay them or put up with harassing collection efforts. In fact, once you have filed for it, they are required by law to stop, at least temporarily, collecting the debt. If you can afford an attorney, then the process is difficult enough that you should get one, at the very least to consult with you. However, if you are trying to do it without an attorney, then you need to start looking around for help. An article I wrote on How-to-File-for-Bankruptcy-Without-an-Attorney can get you started.
When you begin, you need to complete a large number of forms that you can obtain from the US Bankruptcy Court. The case will begin when you file a packet of forms, and submit them to the regional court nearest to where you reside. You can start sooner, by completing just the initial petition and a few other documents, but there is so little time after that to complete the other forms that is it best to do them all at once. Once you see these forms you will see why many people get an attorney to help. You will also need to take a credit counseling class, in an approved company.
Once You Have Filed
When you file for Chapter 7, a trustee is assigned to your case, and that trustee tells you and all of your creditors, about a Meeting Of Creditors hearing they schedule. You have a month or so after you file, to prepare to meet with the trustee, and any creditors who want to dispute what you have claimed in your paperwork. In chapter 7, especially if you have few assets and your paperwork is in order and honestly completed, there is a good chance the only questions you will need to answer are from the trustee. The Trustee is in charge and no judge is present at the meeting.
The End of the Process
If your case is straightforward, that may be almost the end. You will need to take still another class, this one designed to have you learn how to budget (to avoid falling in the same pit) and when the case is closed most of your debts are discharged. The main things that do not get reconciled are taxes, real estate issues (for example, in Chapter 7 most likely you will just delay any foreclosure effort), and debts like student loans and some liens.
Afterwards
After your bankruptcy is over, you can start again. Will you be able to be self sufficient now, even if a new catastrophe occurs? In order to answer that question affirmatively you need to take the above mentioned budgeting course seriously.
Disclaimer
This discussion is meant to be educational and does not constitute advice, legal or otherwise, since particulars of your situation may well be different. Photo Credit to Taber Andrew Bain .
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Welcome - Writers Block introduction
My name is David Berndt and I am a writer, author, psychologist, and book publicist. I will blog from time to time here on various issues, sometimes educationally, and sometimes it will be opinion. I want to make clear from the start that I am not blogging as a psychologist, merely disclosing that I have that profession. Please don't take anything I say as having the imprimatur of psychology, or rely on any academic bonafides that you may chose to credit to me. I am writing here as an individual, and if any of my professions are relevant it would be that of a free lance writer and author.
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